tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613185.post114271810901615289..comments2023-10-26T05:12:19.629-07:00Comments on PonderIt: Marriage is NOT About LoveBradley Rosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06030210881782328907noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613185.post-90748769175708275652010-08-23T20:13:52.330-07:002010-08-23T20:13:52.330-07:00Unfortunately neither you nor most of those commen...Unfortunately neither you nor most of those commenting.<br /><br />Love is about giving, not about being madly in love. That's rubbish. Falling in love is a selfish face of infatuation, neediness and projection. Christian love is agape, not eros as some of you believe.<br /><br />And marriage is not about love, but an agreement which works in the service of procreation. It's not about friendship either, although it can be between two friends.<br /><br />Marriage is also not he ideal. The ideal is celibate life. However, some are called to marriage. <br /><br />What I detest most of all if the dreadfully immature romantic notions that people attach to love and marriage. It's sick! Marriage is only an agreement that last a lifetime. Ideally you would want a marriage where each spouse encourages the moral perfection of the other. It's not a lovey dovey stupidity that many believe it is. <br /><br />If you're horny, go to a brothel if you have problems controlling the urge. Don't use your spouse like a piece of meat to rub your wang on. It's a stupid reason to marry. And your spouse isn't going to give you the love you secretly wish you received from your mother/father either. So stop using the other that way and grow the frak up!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613185.post-1164139472568159962006-11-21T13:04:00.001-07:002006-11-21T13:04:00.001-07:00It's like in that playground song; first comes lov...It's like in that playground song; first comes love then comes marriage.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613185.post-1153492242380573632006-07-21T07:30:00.000-07:002006-07-21T07:30:00.000-07:00I totally agree with what you are saying here. Ma...I totally agree with what you are saying here. Marriage should be defined as the relationship between a woman who is already pregnant and the partner (or partners) of her choice--this way we can ensure that the marriage functions the way it's supposed to. <BR/><BR/>One can understand, of course, a right reluctance on the part of a compassionate society such as ours to suddenly withdraw all of the rights and dignities attendant upon marriage from aging couples who may have been reproductive in the past merely because one of them loses the capacity to impregnate or to be impregnated in the present. But what is not enough recognized is that a perfectly reasonable compromise is possible, one which recognizes a continuing emotional bond between partners of many years while still accepting the moral responsibility to call a spade a spade. In cases such as these, the marriage should not be annulled (as it should be, of course, with couples who are discovered only After The Ceremony to have always been infertile), but merely retired. These “retired marriages” would be civil licenses granting sterile couples the right to retain many of the same privileges afforded to fit couples, but without having to make the blatantly fallacious assertion (especially once the young ones have all long ago left the nest!) that there is any longer anything natural, cultural or sacred about their union. There is not.<BR/><BR/>Of course, It's pretty difficult to look your loved ones in the eye and say "Grandma, Grandpa, I love you but you're not >really< married anymore." Still, we need to be vigilant in this fight & you've helped give me the courage to be so. Thank you SO much.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613185.post-1142730492083951822006-03-18T18:08:00.000-07:002006-03-18T18:08:00.000-07:00The February 2006 National Geographic has an inter...The February 2006 National Geographic has an interesting article about the chemical actions in our bodies that define "love." What we call falling in love creates a dopamine imbalance that is akin to being on certain addictive drugs. However, that eventually levels off within 12-18 months and we start to develop a mellower oxytocin (also somewhat addictive) response to our mates. The more stable oxytocin responses are what makes it possible for us to deal with the problems of life together and remain committed.<BR/><BR/>Of course, the Geographic didn't explore whether these chemical responses are the chicken or the egg, if you will. They did discuss how people that are low in their oxytocin responses to their spouse can do things to improve this situation. So, while we may get into marriage due to "falling in love," sustaining commitment and love in a marriage is a daily responsibility.Scott Hinrichshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11831447472339880148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613185.post-1142729886228372772006-03-18T17:58:00.000-07:002006-03-18T17:58:00.000-07:00I have been married abot 12 years or so, and i am ...I have been married abot 12 years or so, and i am madly in love. I think that my marriage to my wife is first and foremost all about love. Secondly it is about raising a family. I share feelings with my wife that are the greatest feelings that God made to exist. Because these feelings create children though, there is a duty and responsibility with it- that of children. I do not know of any other way that one person could love another more than through the lovely expierinces that spouses share with each other.Rob Osbornhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14266829157497500984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6613185.post-1142719997820531362006-03-18T15:13:00.000-07:002006-03-18T15:13:00.000-07:00I would reword that to be "Marriage is not about r...I would reword that to be "Marriage is not about romance."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com