The Real Reason We Must Forgive

I am totally convinced by C. Terry Warner's argument about why we must forgive. I'm prompted to repeat his argument here after reading this excellent thread at Millennial Star.

In D&C 64:9 we read:

Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

This statement sounds almost absurd on the face of it. If someone throws a frozen turkey into the windshield of your car and smashes your face, this scriptures says that if I don't forgive that person, I have committed a greater sin. If I fail to forgive a parent who abuses me, I'm the bigger sinner. How can this be?

Warner argues that the real issue is denying the atonement. When I refuse to forgive someone for any infraction, large or small, I am essentially saying, "Christ's suffering may have paid the price of many sins, but this particular offense is too big. Christ can't cover it. The offender MUST pay for his sin. God MUST punish him. I refuse to believe that the infinite price paid by the Redeemer can cover the cost of this crime against me. I demand more."

It is the ultimate hypocrisy for any one of us to argue that we deserve the grace of Christ but that it should not be extended to others.

This is not to say that extending forgiveness on our part is easy. Often it is difficult and often requires an extra measure of the grace of God in our lives to accomplish the mammoth task. It is also not to say that we are "letting the offender off the hook." We never had them on the hook. We can't let them off. They are indebted to justice. They must answer to God and the laws of the state. They do not answer to us for their sins. Because we forgive an offender does not mean that they are guiltless before God. They must go through the difficult process of repentance, but that is between them and the One who paid the price.

Another wise teacher told me that there is limited truth in the phrase "forgive and forget." We would not be wise to forget the sins of those who have offended us in serious matters. If a relative were to borrow money from us and fail to repay the sum, we can forgive them for the offense without loaning money to them in the future. We need not forget those who have abused our children; we have an obligation to protect them from further violence. Remembering is our duty. And so is forgiveness.